The diets, crazy vicious circle

Most of us live a large part of our time feeling that we could do better, that we are not enough, successful enough, strong enough, attractive enough, slim enough, smart etc.

Thanks to years of neuroscience research we understand that our way of thinking, our internal narratives, our voices, our parts have been created with the aim of helping us at some point in our lives, especially when we were children. We adapted these forms because they helped us not be afraid, to avoid ridicule, to be loved, to belong.

These narratives, voices or ways of thinking are now no longer necessary. 

They fill us with fear, they prevent us from growing, they criticize us, they do not let us love ourselves intensely as we are. We believe that if the voice with the whip is not there then we would be a disaster, but the reality is that what those voices say are the object of our unhappiness and the reason for not living a fuller life.

So how do you stop being a victim of the whip?

To start with, we have to love all our voices, if we start judging our part with the whip we are doing the same thing we are criticising ourselves and feeling again that we are not enough… so this time we are going to consciously understand our whole being, welcome all of those parts and aknoledge that they have their best interest at heart, but that we are not letting them run the show.

I will give you an example. 

“ I think I want to lose weight and lose a few kilos, it would do me good to be able to run that marathon faster, besides my clothes will look better and I think I will feel much better. 

So I proposed a diet, I followed it rigorously, a part of me takes control of the situation, let's call him "the controller." 

The controller looks for recipes, goes shopping and has Sofia at the end of the whip , says things like - ``Don't be weak as you won't be able to lose weight, ”cake eater pig”

As you can see, the controller is a bully. With this tactic I am not surprised that after three days I am unmotivated and I return to the eating habits that prevent me from losing those kilos that I want to lose so much.

What made you stop the diet? It's the same character that probably made me start the diet in the first place, the character "The Controller." 

That voice (that is part of me) The Controller is not the most effective for this job because it works through fear and not through self-love. 

Every time I hear that voice I feel bad and I am afraid to convince myself that I cannot keep a diet. That feeling is horrible and to avoid it another voice takes control and saves me:

"Live life Sofia , you are beautiful as you are" (and the diet stopped being). 

After a few weeks I would repeat everything again. 

¿Cómo evitar revivir este círculo de pensamientos que no nos dejan avanzar?

Lo primero es definir qué es lo realmente importante al momento de decidir hacer una dieta.

What is the voice that is in the driver's seat when starting the diet? 

I want to go on a diet because I want to look skinnier, I want to show myself that I can, I want to stop eating as a way to feel better, I want to have control over my actions, I want to be present, I want to live fully, I want to feel loved, I want to belong...What is the need that needs to be fulfilled (there he have to dig deep) 

The exercise of distilling what really matters is elementary and in this dialogue nothing else works than the raw truth. We have to be honest. Coaching helps to go through this process, or you can do it on your own but go to the truth especially if it hurts.

There the speech that we keep telling ourselves changes and the basis of the diet is different and the objective is much broader, so much so that if I manage to be present and live in the now aware of my thoughts and my actions, the diet issue is no longer an issue. 

I recommend you meditate to access the wisest part of us to be able to do this exercise more fluidly. 

It goes without saying that each of us will find what is really important to each of us and this exercise works in any area of ​​our lives that we want to change.

1. Hear what is important about the change you want to make.

2. Is that voice seeking a change for the love to ... or for fear of....if it is love to ...then activate!

3. Listen to your voices through all these process they keep changing.. always go to the ones that make you feel good about yourself and in love with yourself. Those ones always make us grow in a consistent and positive way!