Loving yourself unconditionally

When something is not going the way we want it is useful to check in first what is the story that we are telling ourselves. It is possible that the story is not agreeing with part of ourselves.

To recognized these parts, tell your story to yourself.

For example, "I would love to have a life partner but all the single people available are not good for me"

Say the statement out loud "all the single people are not good enough for me" Now imagine what you do want. How is that person. How it is your relation. Do you live together? Do you have friends in common? Do you have a pet together? etc...

Once you have that image, check how your body responds

I there a tense part, do you feel your abdomen filled with energy, or your throat chocking you?

Do you feel a knot in your body?

If you feel something, connect with that feeling, ask: Who is it?

What is that feeling trying to tell you?

This sensation in your body has the best intention... Listen...

Is this sensation trying to tell you something? is it scare? Is it protecting you from something?

Keep in mind....

These parts want to help and have been with you avoiding disasters for a long time. But many times we do not need them, it is like they did not get the memo and they are not invited to this meeting but they are there anyway ... trying to take care of you when you might not need it anymore.

Is there a part of you that is scared, and therefore, will prevent you from contacting a candidate or "coming out of the shell"?

Different ways to sabotage you could be; making excuses, being late, getting sick before a date, no one being good enough for you, etc.

If this is the case and you are making excuses and not moving forward your goal, then you will have to show down and connect with your scared part and listen to it. 

Be attentive to the way your body talks to you and decode the message. You have the decoder. You have your own answers.

Listen to your inner voice.